You were only waiting for this moment to arise

- Paul McCartney & Wings (my fave version, sorry Glee kids)

I realized recently that this coming April would have been Mom's 60th birthday. I can't stop planning the party for her in my head; and then I try to remind myself that (a) would I really have thrown her a party if she were alive? and (b) moot point, move along.

My planning-clearing thoughts are not working.

In my party planning, I have realized that my mom never ate my baking; we used to make her standards together, but I really starting pounding baked goods out after she died, while I was roadtripping. So I would make her a cake that my dad wouldn't eat - something French-inspired and light on the chocolate, like a good olive oil cake with a fruit-and-lavendar compote. And I would throw a party in our swampy backyard for all our crazy Southern family, and our crazy Western family, and our lovely Coast Guard family. For that party, chocolate cake would be required. 60th birthdays seem like a good reason for multiple cakes. We would all eat cake and drink martinis and laugh with Ann together.

It would have been a great party.